In the past, I was a typical college kid- partied, studied hard, dated, and once or twice (or 1,000) listened to / believed rumors. Now, having left a college town and moved out to "my own corner of the world" (Oh how I love you Farwell, TX) and met such a great man, I've learned the error of my ways.
Jeroen is such a great man, and truly lives by the saying "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". Although its hard sometimes, I try to follow the same rule and remember to practice what I learn in church each Sunday. As a teen and college kid, I misbehaved as most do, but am now trying to rid myself of the bad behaviors and bitterness I've acquired over the last ten years.
By doing this, I've learned how awesome some people really are and am saddened by the fact that I didn't take the time to get to know them better. On the flip side of that coin, I've learned that there's also individuals who put on a whole facade, yet when you actually get to know them, you learn it was all a front. I try to dig in deep and figure out why some people are the way they are, but most of the time it wears me out.
And family is no different. I never want to see my siblings or parents in a bad light, so I've always defended their actions. But I'm learning that all individuals will make their own choices, and its not my place to judge, defend, comment, or get hurt by what they say or do. I tend to be a pretty sensitive, yet caring person, so other people's actions nearly always affected me.
I miss people from my past but am unsure of how good of "friends" we really were. And there's also people from my past that I love and appreciate more than I ever have before. Its true what they say, everyone shows their true colors in time. I'm learning so much and no longer fear the word adult. I know first hand how painful rumors are and how difficult it is having individuals riding your back all the time. Therefore, the day has come that college drama and hurt feelings must be left behind, and that gossip and fear of people not liking me are no longer a concern. I am starting a new chapter in my life and owe it to myself and my fiance, to worry less and just be happy.
Here's to growing up!
